Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock - Matthew Quick “I'm trying to let him know what I'm about to do.
I'm hoping he can save me, even though I realize he can't.”


I didn't really know what I felt after reading this book.
Sorrow. Pain. Hurt. Disappointment.Anger.Loneliness.
This book gave me a lot more to think about.


Forgive me, Leonard Peacock is one of those books that I think is a must read for everyone.
Don't be mislead by the title.
This book is not in any way comical.
It is not in any way plain humorous.
It is just not.
There were some witty lines that at regular instances would make me smile or laugh at times but it didn't do that to me on this one.
The story was just tad to serious.
This book was sad. But in a way, it was very beautiful.

Here's the short GIST

Leonard Peacock has a plan.
Today was his birthday but instead of receiving gifts, he was planning to give 4 people a gift instead.
These four people were the ones who touched his life the most.
These four people were the only ones he thought bothered with him.
But that wasn't the only thing he had planned for his birthday.
As a grand finale, he was going to kill himself.
But before that, he was going to kill his former best friend with his grandfather's P-38 pistol.


The title got me fooled. I thought at first it was going to be an easy read.
Before I got the book, I checked the synopsis here at Goodreads first.
It sounded serious but still, I wasn't expecting the contents to be what it was.



I feel for Leonard. I have to admit though that he wasn't a very easy character to love. He was bitter. He was sarcastic. At times he thinks he is better than everyone else. Who would love a character like that? He was more of an antihero in every aspect. Although this book reminded me of Perks of Being a Wallflower, Leonard was in no way like Charlie. Leonard thinks very much different from people his age and I think that's what sets him apart. His views on life after teenage years and what adulthood is very mature. Aside from all this, Leonard suffered from some traumatic stuff in his past that he cannot tell anyone. Just like Charlie (from Perks of Being a Wallflower). The only difference is Leonard was aware of it happening. He was aware but too scared to do anything as he wanted to belong. He didn't want to be alone. I guess that's really where everything started. But that's not the only thing I guess. Partly, I think his mom would have the biggest fault in all this. I'm sorry. I just had to say it. If she wasn't so conveniently inattentive I don't think Leonard would be in the situation that he was then.

Herr Silverman

He would have to be my favorite character in this book. He was Leonard's Hollocaust teacher. He knew from the moment Leonard gave him his gift that something was wrong. How did he know? Because he was paying attention to him. Unlike his mom. Unlike his other teachers. Unlike his classmates. He knew something was up. I think he already knew when he bumped that question in class. I wasn't expecting the secret he was keeping. I was thinking of something else entirely. I was thinking that he was previously suicidal or something but he wasn't. It was very different from that. Everyone needs a Herr Silveman in life. Someone who would be there to listen and observe and help.


I seriously want to blow this mthrf*cking guys head off! It's not until towards the end of this book that you find out why Leonard hates him so much. If you find out, I'm sure you'd want to beat the daylights out of this kid too! He used to be a really good kid. But I gues some people do change. Why? Also because of the people who surrounds them.


I really hate her. Every time she opens her mouth all I could feel was anger and hatred towards this woman. Who is she? He's Leonards good-for-nothing Mom. Leonard's still a kid. Although he could think way beyond his years, he still needs someone who will give him caring and affection. But where is this woman? Oh somewhere. Having fun with her French boyfriend. But does she ever checks on poor Leonard. Nah. Not at all.


- i liked how on the first chapter you'll already know what the character is going to do. and then you gradually find out what happened before and you'll also know what's currently happening. the story telling was fluid and easy to read despite the sensitive topic.

- Herr Silverman was a highlight for me.

- the chronological arrangement of the story was good.

- Leonard's letter to the future was good. I'd probably do it at some point.

- the truth in Quick's writing is something that I really couldn't get enough of.



This wouldn't really solve anything.
Killing yourself is just like accepting defeat.

First they ignore you, then
they laugh at you, they they
fight you, then you win.

Everyone experience problems. Leonard isn't the only one with problems. I'm not saying that his problem is worse than others because I think there are other people with much more issues to handle.
But some are able to cope with it.
No matter how hard the situation is. No matter how hopeless they seem to be.
I think its because of the support they get from the people around them.
If there were more people around Leonard who would care for him, do you think he'll still feel the same way?
Do you think he will still consider suicide?
No he wouldn't.
Because he feels that he has someone. He has someone to lean on when times get hard. He has someone to talk to when his mom disregards him or when Asher was doing the things he was doing to Leonard.

I think people still fail to understand how our action can greatly affect other people.
I think its important that we know the value of what we do or what we say.
Of course we may not always do and say the right things but at least we should be cautious.
We wouldn't know if we are saying the wrong words to a suicidal person.
One wrong word or action may cause that person to end it all.

In my review of Perks of Being a Wallflower, I mentioned that things could change based on the decisions and choices that we could make.
Things will remain the same if you don't do anything about it
I think that somehow Leonard was also to blame for what was happening to him.


He doesn't believe that his future would be better so that's what caused him to want to end it all.
His choice was to keep silent and that choice led him what was happening to him in the present.
If he had done differently, I think things would have been different too.
Every action has its own consequences and I think this book also highlighted that.
We can't always blame other people, at some point we ourselves are also to blame.

I would just like to end my review with a quote as I feel that this is one truth I have learned when I was reading this. Herr Silverman was the one who said it in this book:

“There's a lot for you to live for. Good things are definitely in your future, Leonard. I'm sure of it. You have no idea how many interesting people you'll meet after high school's over. Your life partner, your best friend, the most wonderful person you'll ever know is sitting in some high school right now waiting to graduate and walk into your life - maybe even feeling all the same things you are, maybe even wondering about you, hoping that you're strong enough to make it to the future where you'll meet.”

I rate this: